I know I haven't posted in over three months, but my new job and other matters have kept me too busy and tired out; now, however, I am going to post again! While it may be odd that my first return-to-posting has nothing to do with comics or movies, I must post this obituary of sorts for my dog, Sheba.

My parents, my two younger brothers, and I have had her for 16 1/2 years, though she was actually 17 1/2 when we had to give her back to Heaven this Wednesday morning. She was an amazingly loving husky/shepherd mix (from what we could best determine her breed to be) and had a strong will to live to the very end.

About three months ago, she became sick and unable to walk - at that time, the veterinarian said we needed to put her down, but in a few days she was able to walk again and became better. Such an example of her tenacity to stay on in this world is so remarkable in hindsight now that we know she actually had cancer (which had nothing to do with the aforementioned illness) growing inside of her the entire time.

This past Monday, we took Sheba in for a blood test to get a refill on her thyroid medication. The vet felt a mass in her abdomen and ordered an x-ray. The image showed that my baby girl actually had a splenic hemangiosarcoma - a tumor on her spleen that filled her abdomen. There is an x-ray picture online that shows an example of such a cancerous mass, though it is nowhere nearly as big as Sheba's had become (I cannot scan her x-ray) - Sheba had hers so big that it was crushing her intestines against her spine -  and yet she carried on with great strength. We were never really sure how much Sheba could handle throughout the years, but she definitely proved to us in the end that she was far stronger than we as people ever could be.

After Monday's bad news, we planned to give her back to Heaven that week, but the decision as to exactly when was made Wednesday morning when even Sheba's strength wasn't enough and she began to cry in pain. We rushed her to the vets where they first gave her a painkiller to help calm her down. It was the first time in a long while that we had ever seen her so comfortable. At 9:53 am, St. Francis took our girl into his corner of Heaven.

I found a song that I dedicate to Sheba, and that I believe will help anyone else who has lost a loved one, man or beast. It is "Goodbye My Friend" by Linda Ronstadt. I play other songs over and over again on my computer that I relate to her, but that will always be her song.

Rest in peace, Baby Doll. We love you always.

Sheba
1988 - November 16, 2005

 

PS - Today is my little brother's 14th birthday, which makes Sheba's passing especially hard for him; so I more specifically dedicate this entry to him and how much Sheba still loves him from her place in the arms of angels.

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Growing up as an ‘80’s child, “Dukes of Hazzard” was one of my all-time favorite shows - I even remember playing with “Dukes” colorforms. So, when I first heard a few years ago that a movie was to be made, I was delighted; however, with the many crappy casting choices and insincere adaptations that are made nowadays, I should have known that my delight was premature.

Hearing that Britney Spears was going to portray Daisy Duke sickened me, and I awaited other rumors for casting. When I heard that Johnny Knoxville and Sean William Scott had been cast, I remember thinking, “They might not be bad choices for Rosco and Enos.” - I was sickened even more to hear that they were to be the Duke Boys.

Lately, remakes of classic TV shows have been treated disrespectfully. Despite successful box-office grosses, movies like Starsky & Hutch and Bewitched cared more about whimsical takes than being true to the original hit premises/tones. It couldn’t have been any different for Dukes of Hazzard since Warner Bros. handed the reins to Jay Chandrasekhar and his Broken Lizard team - a successful group of creators for slapstick and spoof make not for good people to handle adapting a show that was satirical and funny at times but far from being a ‘comedy.’

With Dukes of Hazzard opening in theaters today, I will give a prejudicial grade (see FAQ). It is a movie that I will wait to see on DVD - I will not out shell out eight or so bucks for a movie that doesn’t seem to care about its classic forerunner.

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Johnny Knoxville as Luke Duke (Tom Wopat)

Johnny Knoxville is not a bad actor, but he always has comical roles. Even in Walking Tall, he served as the comic relief. Luke Duke, however, is a serious character. Not only does Knoxville not have many serious roles in his repertoire, but he looks nothing like the character’s original portrayer, Tom Wopat.

Grade: C

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Sean William Scott as Bo Duke (John Schneider)

Sean William Scott’s first major role was in Final Destination, but ever since then he’s been known for comedic roles (thanks to the American Pie franchise). So, like Knoxville, casting Scott as Bo Duke is wrong. While Bo was never as serious as his cousin Luke, he was far from as goofy as Scott, whose appearance is so-so when compared to John Schneider, the original Bo (now famous for his role as Jonathan Kent in “Smallville”).

Grade: D

I myself had a difficult time thinking of the best actors to portray the Duke Boys until I just recently saw 2 Fast 2 Furious. When Tyrese Gibson’s character mentioned “Dukes of Hazzard,” I realized that Paul Walker would have been a great Bo!

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Jessica Simpson as Daisy Duke (Catherine Bach)

In casting the role of Daisy Duke, it seems the creators simply wanted someone who looked good in the denim shorts that have come to be known by the character’s namesake. Nothing about Jessica Simpson aside from her ‘hotness’ fit’s the role - she didn’t even dye her hair!

Grade: F

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Willie Nelson as Uncle Jesse Duke (Denver Pyle)

Granted Willie Nelson does somewhat resemble Denver Pyle, the late actor who originally portrayed Uncle Jesse, the country singer is far too laid-back in demeanor to portray the assertive elder Duke and far too small in frame to portray the character’s robustness.

Grade: C

My choice for Uncle Jesse would have been Robert Duvall - an easy choice I had made a while ago. I have also seen other people mention him as their pick, so it’s a shame he wasn’t cast.

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M.C. Gainey as Rosco P. Coltrane (James Best)

This casting choice is the diametric opposite of the casting for Uncle Jesse. The mishap sheriff who always proclaimed his full name, Rosco P. Coltrane, was small in frame (as depicted via actor James Best) - comparable to the Scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz; however, the new movie’s choice more resembles the Cowardly Lion - a tall heavyweight. Perhaps the personality is right, but unlikely. On a side note, whenever I see M.C. Gainey, I can’t help but get the image of a full monty as his role delivered in Sideways - definitely not the image I want to see in Rosco.

Grade: D

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Burt Reynolds as Jefferson Davis “Boss” Hogg (Sorrell Booke)

The character of Boss Hogg was probably the most comedic role in the classic show, so it’s a wonder that the most serious actor (or perhaps second most after Willie Nelson) was cast in that role. Moreover, Burt Reynolds looks nothing like Sorrell Booke, the late actor who originally portrayed Hogg. Some people may argue that appearance isn’t an issue so long as the personality is right, but if ever there were a character whose appearance mattered, it’s Boss Hogg - the man was fat because he was always gorging his face with food, hence his namesake. Burt Reynolds is not that kind of fat. Reynolds may be able to pull off the dictatorial boss role, but not much else would resemble the original Hogg. Heck, the original rumor of Anthony Anderson as Boss Hogg would have been a better choice, despite race.

Grade: D

Perhaps they should have gone with Reynolds’ classic cohort, Dom Deluise - the man is portly and works with food - and is a comedian.

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Michael Weston as Enos Strate (Sonny Shroyer)

Of all the people cast, Michael Weston most closely resembles an original “Dukes” actor, Sonny Shroyer as Deputy Enos Strate. I’ve never seen Weston act, so by default he receives the only good grade for this cast.

Grade: B

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David Koechner as Cooter Davenport (Ben Jones)

David Koechner is another actor I have never seen perform, but his grade is low because he looks nothing like Ben Jones, the original “Dukes” mechanic and pal, Cooter Davenport.

Grade: D

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Additionally, I could not find any pictures of Jack Polick, so I could not compare him to Rick Hurst, the original Deputy Cletus Hogg; therefore, I cannot even give a prejudicial grade on this casting choice.

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The final prejudicial grade for Dukes of Hazzard is a .

D for Dukes - how sadly appropriate.

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Post-Script:
Since I gave a few casting ideas above, I will end this article by casting the lesser known Duke Boys - Coy & Vance. Sean William Scott would actually be a good choice to portray Coy Duke (originally portrayed by Byron Cherry) - a much more suitable role for him than Bo. I had once had a wild idea to have Kevin Sorbo portray Luke, but I knew he didn’t really fit; however, Sorbo would be great for Vance Duke (originally portrayed by Christopher Mayer).

 

In this second part of my article, I am giving my original casting ideas for characters in the Fantastic Four sequels as I delineated in part one. I have not, however, cast Super Skrull, Nathaniel Richards/Immortus, or the Mad Thinker.

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Dominic West as Namor the Sub-Mariner

There aren’t many casting choices that I make where I feel very strongly that there is no better choice for the role. Ian Somerhalder as Gambit was one such instance, but Dominic West as Namor takes the cake! Months ago, I had thought about West in the role for I had seen how well he performed as Jimmy McNulty, the main character in HBO’s “The Wire.” He played the cocky, self-righteous Baltimore cop who breaks protocol to do what’s right in the end - does that kind of character ring a bell, my fellow comics fans? It should, as Namor is just as cocky and self-righteous as anyone. Plus, the classic Sub-Mariner, from the 1960’s to 1990’s, has a trademark cocky brow that helps add to his ornery, yet suave air - a feature that West just happens to have as well. The more I watched “The Wire” and saw West in action, the more adamant I became in wanting The Forgotten co-star in the role of Marvel’s first mutant and anti-hero!

PS - As an Englishman of similar talent, I’m sure that West for have great screen chemistry with Welshman Ioan Gruffudd (Mr. Fantastic).

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Kevin Spacey as Phillip Masters, the future Puppet Master

It’s too bad that Kevin Spacey is already Lex Luthor in the upcoming Superman movie, for that probably means that he will not be good for other comic book roles after playing such an iconic villain; however, he is still my choice to portray the beady-eyed Puppet Master. His performance in Se7en is a comparable one to what he would be like as this F4 villain.

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Lindsay Lohan as Medusa                              Rachel McAdams as Crystal

While I haven’t cast the other Inhumans, it’s Mean Girls Reunited with Lindsay Lohan and Rachel McAdams as the sisters Medusa and Crystal, respectively.

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Peter Stormare as Mole Man

The versatile (and often villainous in his roles) Swedish actor would make for an excellent Mole Man. While his facial features lend to the look of the F4 villain, Stormare stands at full 6’3”, undeniably taller than Mole Man’s 4’10” stature; however, if there’s any case that a tall actor can portray an otherwise short character, it’s Hugh Jackman as Wolverine. Moreover, if need be, Stormare could simply be made to appear smaller as was done with the actors portraying Hobbits and Dwarves in The Lord of the Rings trilogy.

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Jake Lloyd as Franklin Richards

Without having access to casting calls for kids, it’s a tough call to cast Franklin Richards, son of Reed and Sue. Were the boy to be older in the fourth film (not his future self like in the comics when time travel was involved, but simply as a ten year-old or thereabouts), Jake Lloyd could handle the part easily. After all, he’s already experienced in portraying a child with awesome power, for he was Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace. If only Lloyd weren't to be too old by the time the movie would be made!

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Jennifer Garner as Lyja the Lazer-Fist

Seeing as how Marvel has already used the same cast for different movies and characters (Rebecca Romijn in X-Men and The Punisher; Sam Elliot in The Hulk and Ghost Rider), it’s no stretch to have the actress who made Elektra a household name portray another Marvel character. In fact, with her pronounced chin, Jennifer Garner is an absolute match for Lyja, moreso than she was for Elektra.

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Diego Luna as Diablo

With many roles being cast with younger actors to make them more ‘hip,’ it’s only fitting that someone like Diego Luna be cast as the Spanish alchemist who has lived for centuries. If the character doesn’t age normally, then there’s no need to cast an older person like Antonio Banderas or the like.

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Denzel Washington as The Silver Surfer

Sure, the Surfer’s original self, Norin Radd, was an extra-terrestrial of pale skin, but since he would be all silver in F4-3, the skin color of the actor is no matter. Denzel Washington would make a great Silver Surfer, and not just because he mentioned the character in Crimson Tide.

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Even though I have finished writing up my cast for the Fantastic Four sequels, I would also like to recast the role of Mr. Fantastic. It’s not that Ioan Gruffudd is a bad choice, but that the uncanny resemblance between the classic 1960’s to 1990’s Reed Richards and actor Bruce Greenwood is undeniable!

I was testing out different actors for Dr. Strange by putting the trademark white streaks in the hair. Greenwood was one such actor, but when I finished I knew he was Reed Richards indeed and not Dr. Strange.

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I will conclude this article by giving my opinion on a rumored casting choice for both Namor and the Silver Surfer - The Rock.

I do not understand how on Earth anyone could see the Rock in either role. Both Namor and the Surfer are lithe characters - the former getting his strength from his dense bones and tissue (which help him survive in the depths of the sea), and the latter gets his from the Power Cosmic. Neither character is a Hulk or a Thing, so to cast a muscular heavyweight like the Rock is ridiculous, albeit the Rock does has the cocky brow like Namor. Perhaps were Bill Goldberg to have portrayed the Thing (as I had cast long before Michael Chiklis was chosen), then maybe we could have used the Rock as Namor and have had WWFF.

 

In this article, I am going write how the Fantastic Four sequels should work. The second part of this article will be casting ideas for the characters I mention herein.

As X-Men 3 seems to be the end of that strong franchise (at least according to Halle Berry), I don’t see the Fantastic Four franchise going beyond three installments itself; however, I am setting out a plan for three sequels in all, where the third movie will be able to satisfactorily conclude the franchise story-wise if need be, and yet the fourth film will be a conclusion of its own should it go that far. It would definitely be in the very least somewhat fun to have a fantastic four films in all. The Spider-Man franchise may go for six films, perhaps as a play on the Sinister Six, so why not a play on the name of F4?

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Fantastic Four 2, aka F4-2 or F4²

Chris Evans (Johnny Storm/Human Torch) has noted that he would like to see the Sub-Mariner and the Mole in the next movie - I agree completely, except that it’s Mole Man, not the Mole. While in comics Namor the Sub-Mariner is well-known, giving him his own movie wouldn’t be more than a $60 million grosser at best when the general audience doesn’t know who he is, and that is why he should first be introduced in a Fantastic Four film. Granted, Namor has been around for decades more than F4 or Spider-Man or X-Men, but he is still rather esoteric to the comics community and needs to be introduced in a movie appropriate to him in the comics - F4 is the most appropriate as he has become an integral part of the F4 mythos. Perhaps an older Namor could appear in F4-2, and then his spin-off could be based on his early life much as Fox & Marvel are doing with Magneto.

In general, when a franchise starts, its antagonist should be the archenemy of the heroes in the comics - Batman’s Joker in 1989; Spider-Man’s Green Goblin; X-Men’s Magneto; and Fantastic Four’s Dr. Doom. The franchise should then move onto one of the protagonist’s other archenemies such as Batman Returns’ Penguin and Catwoman; or Spider-Man 2’s Doc Ock. Seeing as how Fox and Marvel did not do so with X-Men (keeping Magneto in the movie, albeit not as the main villain), it’s likely that Doom will be back in F4-2 (as his portrayer Julian McMahon would like to see). By following suit with how Magneto was used in X2, Doom would be used as a secondary antagonist in the Fantastic Four sequel - while Namor would be one of the primaries!

In the comics, Namor and Doom have teamed up against the F4 on occasion. Before seeing Fantastic Four, I thought that Namor should indeed be trouble for the heroes, and the ending of the movie only made it more plausible, with Doom at sea being shipped back to his motherland, Latveria. Off-screen, more than likely as events before the sequel’s story begins, Doom would crash the ship with his powers and sink to the city of Atlantis. There he would find an irate Namor, who is disgusted with land-dwellers polluting the seas, and Doom would entice the archetypal anti-hero Sub-Mariner into attacking the F4 with him (perhaps even having the team evicted from the Baxter Building to add to the stress of the times)!

Since Namor is a good guy at heart, we fans know that the alliance wouldn’t last long, and Namor would be torn to do what’s right for his people and what’s right in general - plus he would be eNAMORed (pun intended) with Sue Storm/Invisible Woman, just like in the comics. The alliance would last throughout half the movie, with great focus on Namor’s dilemma; however, during that first half, we would catch glimpses of exposition on the movie’s true nemesis (and the first one the F4 came up against in the comics) - Mole Man.

At the half-way point, Manhattan would be attacked by the Mole Man’s monster (as depicted on the classic cover of Fantastic Four v1 #1) while Mole Man readied his Moloids for attack (perhaps even interrupting the wedding of Reed & Sue). Namor would then realize the threat Mole Man posed to both the dry world and his kingdom at sea, and Marvel’s first mutant would join forces with the heroes. As for Doom, one of two things could happen: one, he could wind up having to help the heroes against Mole Man, who would pose a threat for Latveria as well; or two, he would be the one who provoked Mole Man (as would be shown during the exposition), hoping that the two of them along with Namor would be able to conquer the world - a symbolic trilogy like the three brothers Zeus, Hades, and Poseidon in Greek mythology who overthrew their father Cronos and divided the world amongst themselves - Doom would rule above-ground, Namor the sea, and Mole Man the subterranean worlds. I like the latter prospect a lot, for when Namor would turn on the villains, Mole Man would gripe to Doom and the two villains would be each other’s downfall.

Other characters that would make a good spin-off (though not in the works yet like Sub-Mariner is) and would thus need to be in a Fantastic Four film, at least as cameos, would be the Inhumans. With the introduction of Namor, perhaps he and Doom would first threaten the island nation of Attilan (home of the Inhumans), something which the F4 would catch on the news - the heroes’ first glimpse of Namor. If the Inhumans did show, even as cameos, Crystal and Medusa would receive special screen time.

Finally, there is a clue that Namor may indeed be in the second movie (Evans’ comments aside): Christopher Columbus, who has signed to direct Sub-Mariner was a producer on Fantastic Four! Thus, some of the red tape has already been sorted on the legalities of using Namor in F4-2!

PS - Avi Arad has noted that he would like the Puppet Master to be in F4-2; however, with all the zombie flicks of late, having the villain use mindless clay drones would be excessive for movie-goers. Yet, with Thing/Ben Grimm and Alicia Masters getting closer, the Puppet Master’s alter ego Phillip Masters (Alicia’s step-father) would surely have a cameo (much like Dr. Curt Connors was in Spider-Man 2 but not as the Lizard).

PPS - At the end of the movie, Sue would reveal that she is pregnant.

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Fantastic Four 3, aka F4-3 or F4³

F4-3 would take the heroes to the next level and back to their origins - outer space. The movie’s antagonists would be the Skrulls, namely the Super Skrull (who has the powers of everyone in F4). The Puppet Master would become a major part in this film as the Skrulls’ human liaison, though his clay drones wouldn’t figure prominently for the reasons stated above. Lyja the Lazer-Fist would also play an integral part, disguising herself like Alicia Masters à la comics, for the Skrulls would not trust the Puppet Master and thus would want to spy on him as closely as possible. Lyja-cum-Alicia would hit on Johnny, thereby creating more tension between him and Ben.

Because Sue is now pregnant, Crystal of the Inhumans would join forces with F4 to aid them against the impending invasion. Doom would also have to help, for much as it is in the comics, he teams up with the heroes to stop world conquerors (because he cannot conquer the world if someone else does). Finally, Sue would give birth to Franklin, who even as just a baby would use his awesome powers to help defeat the Skrulls.

Much as with Namor, the Silver Surfer is popular in comics but not well known by the general populace; therefore, he needs to be introduced in an F4 film as well (even if just as a cameo). Director Tim Story has already said that he wants the Surfer to be in an F4 sequel, and Fox does own the rights, so it is possible that the Surfer would appear. Two other characters who should have cameos are the watcher Uatu and the robot H.E.R.B.I.E.

PS - Doom would die trying to help stave off the Skrulls, which could either help conclude the franchise or leave open a plot twist for the fourth installment.

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Fantastic Four 4, aka F4-4 or Fantastic 4,000 or Fantastic 4-D

With all the major events of the comics up to and including the birth of Franklin having occurred in the first three installments, the franchise could very well end there, as I said before; however, one aspect of the F4 mythos not yet having appeared would be time travel - namely via Reed Richards/Mr. Fantastic’s father, Nathaniel. Despite time travel being a delicate concept to use in movies or any story for that matter, it could very well work in the fourth installment with the other ends all tied up. With time-travel as the premise, Fantastic 4,000 or Fantastic 4-D would be appropriate titles.

Even though one incarnation of the time-traveling Nathaniel Richards is the Egyptian pharaoh Rama-Tut (made even more popular by his rivalry with Apocalypse in “X-Men: Evolution”), travel to the past would not be as enthralling as would be travel to the future; therefore, Richards would appear not only as himself but also in the form of Immortus (his other popular form Kang would be more appropriate for an Avengers movie). Immortus himself would not be the villain necessarily, but his control over time would be the catalyst for the ages-old villain Diablo to appear as the film’s primary antagonist.

  

The Mad Thinker would also have a cameo where he’d be creating Dragon Man, and Diablo would kill him and steal the monster for his own bidding after bringing the beast to life. In the end, a major plot twist would involve altering time to bring Doom back to life, for the heroes would need Doom to defeat Diablo. Another spin on time could be that Immortus (despite not being villainous) becomes to powerful, so Nathaniel Richards as himself sacrifices his life to destroy his alter ego!

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Well, that covers most of the major characters of the F4 mythos. Characters like She-Hulk, whose place is cinema belongs to the Avengers, and She-Thing, who would surely be overkill, are best not to appear. Space characters like Galactus, Annihilus, and Blastaar are not part of this franchise either, for they are more appropriate for the Silver Surfer franchise. Black Panther and Cage are already in the works, so perhaps those characters could be introduced in an F4 film like Namor and the Silver Surfer, but the above premises are not very conducive to any more than mere cameos for them.

And please - despite what Jessica Alba (Sue Storm/Invisible Woman) would like - no Fantasticar! That kind of camp material would surely draw much disdain to the franchise. In the Silver Age of comics, every hero having a vehicle may have been fun, but only non-super powered characters like Batman should have them nowadays!

 

You can say all you want about what makes a good comic-book movie, but the bottom line is that an adaptation only works well when it stays true to character and relationships. Costumes changes, minor adjustments in continuity, plucking the best characters despite continuity - none of that is harmful to adaptation so long as characters are what and whom they should be.

“X-Men: The Animated Series” altered continuity and chose only the cream of the crop for a cast, but it was a smash success because the characters were done correctly. Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2 altered continuity and made the webbing organic and not mechanical, but they stayed true to character. Until Saturday, I thought the Spider-Man franchise to be Marvel’s best because it was so true to character (unlike the X-Men franchise, which altered several characters). That position has now changed: Fantastic Four now wears the crown!

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Ioan Gruffudd as Mr. Fantastic/Reed Richards

Mr. Fantastic is one of those characters that I found to be difficult to cast, long before Tim Story was even given the reins of Fantastic Four. I eventually found one that fits remarkably, but he is seemingly too old (I will reveal my choice in a later article) for the way Fox and Marvel are going with the franchise. Ioan Gruffudd (pronounced “Yo-an Griffith” for those of you who wonder) was a good choice (though not the best) and pulled off the somewhat naïve scientist very well. While the actor himself is eight years older than Jessica Alba, Reed is not that much older than Alba’s Sue Storm (the two having met in college). A disparity in age is pretty much the only problem with the cast as a whole (though a minor matter at most). Finally, many actors from the UK, Ireland, and Australia are able to cover their accents well; however, Gruffudd’s Welsh came through just enough to seem awkward.

Acting Skills: 3.5 (loses .5 on accent)
Appearance: 3
Demeanor: 4
Average: 3.5
Grade: B+

PS - The white streaks in Reed’s hair caught a split-second’s attention in the movie, put down to being simply another symptom of the cosmic rays - a great way to give the look of the comics without being campy or corny. Take note, Marvel, that it was done correctly - unlike what had been done with the gawky camp effect on David Hasselhoff’s Nick Fury and the cheesy origin of Rogue’s hair being a result of absorbing powers (and hair color) from Magneto. Thank goodness they didn’t have Reed get his trademark white by absorbing it from Willie Lumpkin!

PPS - Everyone got called their nicknames and used their battlecries - why wasn’t Reed called “Stretch?!”

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Michael Chiklis as The Thing/Ben Grimm

No one could have been better as the Thing than Michael Chiklis. Long before Fantastic Four went into pre-production, long-time comic-book fan Chiklis introduced himself to Marvel Studios Chief Avi Arad as Ben Grimm! So, Chiklis essentially cast himself - and we need more comic-book fans cast in the roles, as their intimate knowledge of the characters pays off (like in this case): Chiklis nailed the role of the gentle giant. (Hopefully, despite not looking like Johnny Blaze, comic-book fan Nic Cage will give the same kind of performance in Ghost Rider).

On a minor note, where’s the hair that non-Thing Ben Grimm should have? Chiklis may be bald, but he had fake hair for The Three Stooges!

Acting Skills: 4
Appearance: 3.5 (loses for being bald pre-Thing)
Demeanor: 5
Average: 4.2
Grade: A+

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Jessica Alba as The Invisible Woman (or Girl)/Susan Storm

Wow! They actually used both of Sue’s codenames, for she started as Invisible Girl before being promoted to “Woman.” Unfortunately, the casting of Sue was as fulfilling. Jessica Alba did an okay job, but her acting is light and fluffy at times, and the appearance of the character was forced upon her, as she naturally looks nothing like the character in the comics (hair being one trait that didn‘t match). Some fanboys may want to smack me for disagreeing with Alba having been chosen for the role, but just because the actress is incredibly hot in or out of ‘spandex’ (and she is) doesn’t mean she is right for the role. Moreover, as said in the entry on Reed, Alba is not a very good age in comparison to the rest of the cast - Chris Evans is supposed to be playing her younger brother, yet the two actors are the same age! Yet, I was satisfied nonetheless with the outcome because the character was written true to form (unlike some Marvel characters who have been both written and cast incorrectly).

Acting Skills: 2
Appearance: 2.5
Demeanor: 4
Average: 2.8
Grade: C+

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Chris Evans as The Human Torch/Johnny Storm

 

I had never seen a movie with Chris Evans before, so when it was first announced that he had been cast as Johnny Storm, I was wary; however, as soon as the trailers began to air, I had no doubts. Evans as the Torch was almost as good as Chiklis as the Thing. Too bad Evans is the same age as Alba, who plays his older sister (no biggie though). One final note, though, is that they could have tried to make Evans a little blond like his comic-book counterpart (a problem similar to Alba’s).

Acting Skills: 4
Appearance: 3
Demeanor: 4
Average: 3.7
Grade: A-

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Julian McMahon as Victor Von Doom

Oddly enough, the villain in the movie is never once called Dr. Doom. He says, “Call me Doom” and “We’re both doctors,” but the two key words are never used in the same sentence. Whether or not it really makes a difference, I don’t know, but I do know that the movie Doom was almost completely rewritten - the only part of the character that remained from the comics is the personality (which is the most important). His origin, powers, and the romantic interest in Sue Storm were all different from the sorcerer-scientist of the comics who knew Reed from college. Also, Doom was never on the ship with the heroes in the comics. Yet, at least they got it right about how Victor’s transformation into Doom all started with a little scar, both to his face and to his ego.

But none of that really pertains to casting - as far as that is concerned, Julian McMahon was an excellent choice to play the egomaniacal would-be conqueror called Doom. “Charmed” fans know how much a bad-ass he was in that show, so when it was announced that he’d be Doom, there was no going back! Funny how the TV show that made him big carries the motto “power of 3,” and Fantastic Four promoted itself with the motto “power of 4.”

Acting Skills: 4
Appearance: 3.5
Demeanor: 5
Average: 4.2
Grade: A+

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Those are the five roles that were significant enough to include in the grading process.
So, what's the cast's final grade?

Average: 3.7     Grade:

BUT WAIT…

Even though she was only seen twice, Alicia Masters has been part of the F4 family from the very beginning (Fantastic Four v1 #8 in 1962). The relationship between her and Ben Grimm touched off well, but Kerry Washington did not look the part at all! I don’t want to get into anything too touchy, but race helps define a character in many instances, especially in the Marvel universe where mutants are hated for their race. It would be great if we lived in a world where race were moot point, but unfortunately race does come into play a lot, so casting should not disregard it.

Kerry Washington as Alicia Masters
(so-so choice)

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Also, Willie Lumpkin as been a part of the F4 family since the beginning as well (FF v1 #11 in 1963). Stan Lee, creator of F4 and so many other legendary characters, has made cameos in a majority of Marvel movies, but this is the first time he has actually played an actual character from the comics - and he fit’s the part superbly no less!

Stan Lee as Willie Lumpkin
(excellent choice)

 

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Copyright Casting would like to extend its condolences to the victims of the explosions in London this morning.

 

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Captain America for America by Alex Ross

From Scotland’s Sean Connery to Northern Ireland’s Liam Neeson to England’s Michael Caine to Wales’ Anthony Hopkins, the United Kingdom has birthed much great acting talent. In fact, overall, the UK has produced the best actors of the 21^st Century. So, none of what I am about to write is meant to knock the UK (nor any other nation); however, it is meant to celebrate the United States of America.

I am writing this article as both an American patriot and a comic-book fan, for it disgusts me how much patriotism is lacking from comic-book movie adaptations. Also, I chose this day to voice my opinion as a way to celebrate the 4^th of July (Independence Day for the USA).

The problem with adapting comics into movies today is that many lack ‘America’ in them - that is, for comics that are All-American in nature and origin. Despite claims of perhaps politics, finances, or artistic license, the problem factors in two ways: cast and filming locale. Superman Returns - the title character once having been DC Comics’ most patriotic hero, battling the Nazis in the Golden Age of comics just like Marvel’s Captain America - is being filmed in Australia.

While the story takes place in Texas with a cowboy-esque theme to it, Ghost Rider is also being filmed in Australia. Ironically, its American star Nic Cage once pointed out how England is more patriotic with its characters than the US is with ours. When a rumor circulated that he was up for the British role of James Bond (who’s been portrayed by three UK actors, one Irish, and one Australian), Cage noted, “You can have a Brit play Batman but you can't have an American play Bond, that will never happen.”

[see “Cage Rules Out 007 Role” article at IMDb.com - 7^th one down the page]

Batman Begins was filmed primarily in England (though some Chicago scenes were filmed) by a British director, and 5 of the 9 major characters were cast with actors from the UK. Gotham, in the comics, is an American city, and Bruce Wayne, an All-American kind of guy. The only character in the comics who is British is Alfred, so Michael Caine is the only fitting cast member as far as nationality is concerned. The film and cast in general were superb, but my criticism is merely to demonstrate the lack of patriotism shown for American characters.

While Fantastic Four boasts primarily American actors, a CBM exclusive interview with Ioan Gruffudd - who portrays Mr. Fantastic, the team leader - helps point out one way in which comic-book movies are losing the American spirit when it comes to casting by noting how two major characters are being played by Welsh actors this year.

Another lack of patriotism is shown via broadcasting. I don’t know if any other shows do it, but acquaintances of mine living in Canada say that new episodes of the animated series “Justice League Unlimited” air in Canada before they do in the USA! Why not air them concurrently in both nations?

Finally, I’d like to finish my article off by commending director Michael Bay for his patriotism. When asked in an interview with IESB* where he’d be filming Transformers since a lot of live-action adaptations are going abroad, Bay said he’d stay here. His actual were words “I’m an American-made movie guy. I shoot in America.”

HAPPY 4^th of JULY, BABY!

*Windows Media Player required